Well. was able to get outside in the 34ish degree stuff early and work out. A bit dicey in spots, as there was not ice, but a lot of slippery frost. Oh well, that time of year.

Have to remember I am still generally on an upward trajectory. Had a problem at bedtime last night where, suddenly, while on my side, I realized there was a man with a huge knife outside my room, preparing to kill me. Hyperventilating, terror, out of control. Got on my back, so I could defend myself. Finally, fell back to what I always am left with in these situations--prayer and breathing. That's all I could do.

So, I did it. And somehow, I got myself under control and actually fell asleep. What I just do not understand is how I can go from being totally fine one minute, to being completely out of control and out of my mind, the next. What do we even call that? I dunno.

No psychosis so far today. Got a nice gift card from the owner of my favorite pizza place, which was cheery. I found some pieces of metal in a slice a couple of days ago. I think they were shocked I didn't want to sue them, this being America. But then I briefly mentioned what I used to do for a living and it sort of became clear...

Not yet in a position to be providing feedback to anyone, sorry. Just trying to steadily improve, if possible. I want to again thank everyone who has been so kind and generous and helpful while I have been dealing with all this mess. Fern, WC, Blue--everyone. So incredibly grateful for you all.