The last place I worked, I worked there for 7 years and I'm always anxious when I start work at a new place and this place was even worse because they invented a job just for me so they didn't know what the job was and if I could do it anymore than I did so the pressure was worse.

Most of the people in the company were young and it was a blue collar company and there were lots of drinkers. At first at all the parties I was a fun drunk; sat on little plastic chairs that broke under my weight, had my non-drinking best friend (who I worked with) ask me "So, what do you think? How are you?" after a party when she and her partner and I and my husband were all out camping near where the party had taken place and I looked at her and said, "I think I'm going to throw up" and ran a little way off into the woods to do that. I did obscene-looking things with corn-on-the-cob and had all the guys shivering crab feast to crab feast. There are pictures too.

I was the life of the party for 2 years or so but then settled down. I got older and it was harder to drink as much, I couldn't physically and I got less comfortable and happy about myself and had more therapy :-) and worked harder in that area and now I rarely drink and can't remember the last time I was drunk. I retired from that company 3 years ago and they're still showing the pictures and talking about my "ways".

I think life gets you one way or the other and gets you in line, with cattle prods or a gentle nudge. Some people have one sort of problem, some have another. I like being a bit older and "out of it" mostly to a place I can reflect on my younger self and just shake my head.

I'd add a snappy comeback to your husband's idiot remark, something along the lines of, "Yeah, and proud of it!" to support yourself and the hard work you're doing.