View Single Post
 
Old Nov 23, 2019, 07:32 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,872
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Well. was able to get outside in the 34ish degree stuff early and work out. A bit dicey in spots, as there was not ice, but a lot of slippery frost. Oh well, that time of year.

Have to remember I am still generally on an upward trajectory. Had a problem at bedtime last night where, suddenly, while on my side, I realized there was a man with a huge knife outside my room, preparing to kill me. Hyperventilating, terror, out of control. Got on my back, so I could defend myself. Finally, fell back to what I always am left with in these situations--prayer and breathing. That's all I could do.

So, I did it. And somehow, I got myself under control and actually fell asleep. What I just do not understand is how I can go from being totally fine one minute, to being completely out of control and out of my mind, the next. What do we even call that? I dunno.

No psychosis so far today. Got a nice gift card from the owner of my favorite pizza place, which was cheery. I found some pieces of metal in a slice a couple of days ago. I think they were shocked I didn't want to sue them, this being America. But then I briefly mentioned what I used to do for a living and it sort of became clear...

Not yet in a position to be providing feedback to anyone, sorry. Just trying to steadily improve, if possible. I want to again thank everyone who has been so kind and generous and helpful while I have been dealing with all this mess. Fern, WC, Blue--everyone. So incredibly grateful for you all.

I'm glad you were able to get to sleep last night. That sounds very disturbing. Prayer also helps me when I'm having hallucinations and/or paranoia

I hope things continue to improve and these experiences lessen over time
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote