Ok this !

My head is pretty loud. But when I’m struggling it’s like there is a mob of people behind me, I “ see”’them as all wearing black and heads down and they mumble. If things continue down the rabbit hole they get louder and I hear them telling me to do things, scared things. The mob is still there but one of them becomes like the ring leader , it looks neither make or female, Just trying to tower over me ? I sense a pressure from behind.. I have always been able to self ground my way through it.. I just question everything about it.

I honestly no longer fear it. It’s a big annoyance.

It’s like a cartoon meme I found years ago it shows in one pic a cartoon girl looking at depression coming at her and she’s freaking out , the next pic the girl is drawing something and the depression is coming up behind her and she says “ hey buddy “

Lots of self grounding and question every bit of it , over and over.