To anyone reading this who is in an emotionally/verbally/sexually/physically abusive relationship: it is highly unlikely he or she is going to change. It's not going to get better. It's likely to get worse. You may feel like things are okay/tolerable for long stretches of time, but the bad times are going to come back. It may take a really long time to get worse, but it probably will. "At least (s)he doesn't hit me." Until the day he or she does. And really, are the emotional wounds any less painful than a bruise? One day, you may wake up and realize that you can't get back all those years. They're gone. For good. I can't tell you how many bitter tears I've cried and will cry over those lost years. Don't be me.

I know the small handful of users that I'm thinking of as I write this probably aren't hearing me. You're in denial or you think you have no better option than to stay. At least listen to yourself and the stories you tell. Continue to tell them until you truly hear what you're saying. You don't deserve to live these stories you tell. No one does. Use my story as a cautionary tale. I was with my person from when I was 18. The controlling behavior was there all along, but I didn't see it. I'm now 48 years old and I'm looking at a life of utter loneliness. Don't be me. I get it. It's not easy to leave when your self-esteem is being constantly eroded and they are controlling you. Get in therapy. Stay in therapy. Discuss your relationship and the abuse and don't be afraid to label it abuse. Don't live in ignorance or denial. Call it what it is. Try to repair your shattered self before it's too late.