I can totally see that transference happening. It already is there to a degree with his younger sister (she’s 59) . There is definitely family enmeshment. The mother taught them that loyalty and alliance with their “little family” should always come first, in other words she wants to emotionally hang on to the nucleur family the way it was when they lived at home and were children.

For instance Sister had a family phone plan, mom and my boyfriend were on it with her. When he would forget to send her a check by the 1st she would temporarily disconnect his phone. And then tell him the new payment arrangements two months at a time on the 1st etc etc She would call and text to remind him the date was coming up and if he said he paid it through the bank etc he had to send her a screen shot , or have him send some kind of verification. I finally convinced him to get his own plan, she refused to give him the acct number and pin so he could port his old number that he’d had for ten years to the new provider.

He also needed a new phone so I bought him one for his birthday. Sister accused me Of “handling his affairs” and then told him I probably put spyware and tracking program on it to spy on him! I only found out after he wasn’t going forward to get phone set up and from his responses I figured out what had happened. It became such a huge debacle that I took the phone back and sold it to my sister. He never even said he was sorry for the hassle , deciding after a month to not take the gift ( he had been very happy appreciative and excited prior to her talking to him) etc.

So during that time after she told him she wouldn’t give the acct info she totally disconnected his service so now he has no phone and no service except his work phone. I’m sure soon he’ll have a new one from his mom and on a new plan she “helps” him get.

He actually was with sister and mom the whole weekend prior to the monday she disconnected his service ( she was visting at moms in Seattle from Wisconsin) and she never mentioned a word that she was going To do that. After he realized she did it his attitude was “well that was her choice. “ He won’t stand up to her or his mom at all! So yes I think there will be transference , “she’s family” just like in your example !