Hi all! I have been a bit busy, but back to check in. Today was a good day! I went to outlet stores with my friend and got a few things. I have been needing some new clothes and feeling frumpy at work, so this was good. I do feel bad about spending money and wonder if I could have bought stuff at a thrift store cheaper or something, but it was fun to go with my friend. I just feel so much better than I was feeling for a minute there. I have to get this whole hormone mood thing under control, I just have no idea how. Like I am a totally different person full of distrust, fear, anger, panic, sadness some months, yet I don't know what to do about it. I don't think there are medication treatment options that will help. However, I will try to appreciate that part of the month I feel pretty good like at the moment. I am really glad I have therapy on Monday and can see my therapist while I am feeling okay. The last several sessions have always fallen at a not so good time for me. Sounds strange perhaps, but when I am in that kind of bad place mentally I really cannot make progress in therapy. I also feel like I come off as very closed off and not engaged. I leave therapy feeling bad that I just "whined" or was pessimistic and worry I either annoyed my therapist and/or was rude to her. So, maybe I will show up with a clear head and we can set some goals and whatnot. I do think I am going to call my psychiatrist about some psych testing and a follow up eval. I am feeling okay so put it off, but I think they are the best person since they know me well and also have the background in medicine to consider possible things that could be interacting with my issues.

Hope everyone is doing well! I will go back and catch up. Sending compassion!