Hey guys, sorry I have been AWAL for a month. I really wasn't doing too good. The depression was really tough and I was massively struggling. I eventually got my meds albeit the wrong dosage. I'm only on 10mg x 4 times a day of Propanol. They make me so sleepy. I'm feeling after a month and a half I'm more optimistic.

I still have the letters I wrote to my family incase I attempted suicide. I can't get rid of them even though everyone wants them gone.

I was seeing my CPN and community worker weekly. I'm now seeing my CPN fortnightly. So I'm improving. Everyone says I'm brighter.

I think going away at the start of November helped I was in a lodge with a hot tub on the west coast of Scotland. It was gorgeous chilly and dark.