ANSWER MY EMAIL AND SAY NICE STUFF TO ME. I am full of rage today. I am menstruating, there is NOTHING sweet in the house. NOTHING. This is basically like prison. Some greedy pig ate all the crisps last night and so I am also in the midst of a serious carbohydrate famine - oh yes, that's right, it was me who ate all the crisps because I was pining for you and salty potato snacks were the closest thing to maternal love I had to hand. I am so needy and bleedy and somehow all this is your fault. Let's face it, when was the last time you made me a hot water bottle for my back and uterine pain? Never!!! Never, not once. The one time I could accept some comfort - or at least chocolate - and you are nowhere to be seen. Probably out for Sunday lunch with that girlfriend of yours. God, I hate her more than I hate you. I am going to check my inbox again and if you haven't answered, I WILL NEVER COME TO ANOTHER SESSION AGAIN.


(Except Wednesday's session because I really want to talk about how we will commemorate our three years of working together. It has been life changing and hard and beautiful).

Did I say commemorate?! I meant COMMISERATE!!