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Originally Posted by poshgirl
Nothing wrong with befriending someone older. Just beware of strategies if he expects more from you, unless as the friendship develops/circumstances change that's what you want too.
You're very lucky to have someone who wants to impart their knowledge and experience. It's often dismissed, as companies employ younger people who don't have these skills. Too many older people then feel devalued and frustrated that they can't pass on these skills.
From my first job in a predominantly male environment, I've always got on better with men than women. Also, with the internet, I've learned far more than ever I could from family members (harsh, but fair comment). I'm a lady plane spotter (passenger not military), so know about unusual interests. Recently invited to write a blog for UK based spotters community, although I've never met any of them.
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Thanks for your advice, poshgirl. Talking to him provides me good feelings. He seems to understand me when we talk and respects me more than my classmates do. So of course I value him sharing his knowledge.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having unusual interests, but as they're unusual, it's hard to find people who shares them. That's what I don't like about my unusual hobbies.
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Originally Posted by Misterpain
Yes absolutely in terms of socialising its an "ice breaker" he loves doing it and you have an intrest .
My mom taught me to look for "common ground " anything you ha can be used to find other things you may share an intrest in ,everything from bridges to relationships need a foundation to build on ,in this case his cement work is common ground.
The same applies to all friends ,lovers spouses etc.
You meet people where ever they are ,and build up from there , i have a friend I met in the produce aisle buying eggplant (I love to cook, the y wanted to expand there knowledge ,we started with the humble 50 ways to cook eggplant ) you can literaly build off anything,I have other friends I mer over cars,radios, my dog,. Don't be shy or timid " the early bird gets the worm " ,i don't suggest eating works however enjoying making friends and trying to share your life is an active sport .life isn't a spectator sport and time waits for no man or woman , the earlier you start the better your skills , the more comfortable you become doing it.
I have an "aunt " when my mom was 7she lived next door , they both grew up went to college became psychologist 's and remained friends ,when my mom adopted me she became part of my family , my mom died 10 years ago, my aunt is 83 and we remain friends/family .
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Good to hear you think it is an ice breaker. And thanks for the tip! I haven't asked him how he's going with that project of his yet. It's hard to find the right moment to mention it without asking him out of context.
Sorry to hear your mother passed away. Your story is very heartwarming and it definitively makes me see how relationships evolve and that age may not be a problem at all.
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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
from what it sounds like you're already befriending him. There is nothing more to being a friend as just having things in common, enjoying company and getting along. Obviously people can be friends with bosses, coworkers and of course mentors, there is nothing unethical about it and personally, I am not sure how one will learn from a mentor that they do not really have some respect for. It doesn't mean you have to be drinking or going out buddies or more but yes it's good and acceptable to be friends with a mentor.
Don't think too deeply on this, it sounds like you've found a good mentor and have a mutually friendly relationship. Much better than someone that happened to be your mentor that you didn't like at all.
enjoy and don't worry so much.
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Yes, he's definitively a friendly person. I don't know why I think too much about it rather than enjoying it while I can.
Actually, I know why I worry too much. I've been asking the wrong question the whole time. The thing is that I get on well with this man. Why wouldn't I, though? He's polite, friendly, helpful, we respect ourselves (which is something people my age don't do), we share interests and
he's what I'm aspiring to become! I'd like to hear how he ended up working there, to hear more stories about how life was before I was born, and he could advise me very well in the course of my career. I'll someday leave that place, and we won't see ourselves anymore. That makes me sad. I'd like to keep in touch with him afterwards. But I want it to be
frequent, not once a year like I do with my old teachers and schoolmates. To tell him how I'm going, to meet in person, to joke like we do right now, to talk about life in general... And it's a shame that it won't be possible because of the age difference. I'll leave in January, and I wish time passed slower.
Is what I said possible? Do you think there's a probability that this person will accept to get to know ourselves outside work? Of course, I won't force him to do anything he doesn't want to. But I'll have to ask him someday, and how do I bring it up? How do I ask him that without looking awkward?
This is what worries me, and why I think about it too much. I just don't want to miss out the opportunity to have someone in my life who is worth having.
