Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
Thank you, fern. 
There's a ton of info online about the possible connection between spirituality and psychosis (as you probably know).
Years ago I attended a lecture by Stan Grof (author of the book Spiritual Emergency). It's fascinating stuff for those who are stable enough to delve into the potentials and possibilities (and wealthy enough to hire an "emergence coach").
I certainly understand how interesting it all can be. Sometimes it's frustrating to me, however, when even a pdoc or therapist suggests that since I "seem" so calm when I describe psychotic experiences, that perhaps I'm channeling beings or etc. And growing up/living in Northern Calif, well, there is no shortage of people who go for all sorts of alternative ways of looking at mental illness (and plenty making big bucks by giving mental illness some other label).
But I'm not calm, inside. I'm actually coming apart inside. I think I dissociate, so it appears as calmness.
Anyway, whether I'm channeling who or what-ever, I don't want it. It holds zero interest for me and I resent that some astral being might want to use me as a conductor. Part of the reason is that I know a so-called "being" can rapidly becoming truly threatening, saying things to me that cause me to be so terrified and upset that I really do start to lose objectivity. That's why I tend to go with "hallucination that is brain-based."
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I completely understand. It must feel like a total violation. FWIW, I think it is helpful for you to set a clear intent that you do not want to participate in any of that just as you have done here. I'd make a mantra out of it and repeat it daily or maybe more often.
I'd be freaking out too. I know it probably doesn't help, but I can completely appreciate why you'd dissociate.
My only other thoughts would be to spend as much time and effort as you can in there here and now. The more and more you ground into your reality here perhaps the harder it will be for you to be pulled in another direction. Lots of grounding techniques. Lots of connecting to the present moment, time spent in nature, etc. No time spent watching shows or reading about the supernatural or esoteric spiritual worlds. Just focused on what you can put your hands on here on this Earth.
You may already be doing this. I deployed these sorts of techniques after my experience.