Wow....talk about a flashback!! You sound just like me, 2 years ago. I had extreme problems trying to breastfeed my daughter. Every time she rejected me it was so hard.

I did, actually, fall into using formula. My supply was too low and she wasn't growing. Or that's what I thought...now I just know she's just a petite little girl who doesn't grow. (2-1/2 years old and about the size of an average 10-month-old...)

I just want to assure you on both ends - one, yes your milk is good enough and YES you are a good mother and try not to let it get to you. But on the other side...formula is still adequate nutrition and if things are getting too rough, do not let ANYONE guilt you if you choose to supplement a little or even switch entirely. Sometimes Mom's sanity is worth more than breastmilk vs. formula.

I only made it 4 months. I went crazy trying to pump, took all kinds of herbs and drank all that mother's milk tea, tried every device you could think of to make things work. I still failed miserably. The last time I pumped I barely got enough to make the bottles moist.

But you know what? She's still a healthy little girl. I did what I could. Sometimes breatfeeding just doesn't work. Sure, I always like to think that well, back before formula was inveted, every woman could breastfeed, right? Wrong. Look at infant mortality rates.

Anyway...that got a little long...just know that you're not alone, it IS hard.

Also you may want to look into your local LLL (la leche) or check out kellymom.com for some tips.