If your wife feels she has ptsd then she does. She needs a Therapist to process her feelings about you and the marriage. She can’t work it all out in front of you , nope ! You would also benefit seeing a Therapist yourself. You need to work and build coping skills so you don’t fall back and make poor comments again.

My husband and I thought our marriage was over , my husband said a lot of horrible things over time and we had a huge fight .. I needed months in Therapy to process it and it was ptsd , I was constantly having flash backs to a fight or him treating me poorly and I needed help to decide if I could get past it all and not hold it against him in any future disagreements and honestly be able to fully trust him again.

Once someone destroys trust and respect, that is what happens when someone acts the way you did. It’s like crumbling up a piece of paper and then try to flatten it back down and it look like brand new, it can not be done, people can decide to trust and love again .. but that truly takes time. A few months probably isn’t enough time for her to believe you honestly have changed.. Actions speak louder than words.

My marriage? ... We were able to salvage it and it’s much stronger that it ever was. But honestly it took me probably a year to truly trust that we had both made changes that would last in our marriage.

You need to give her time to heal. I truly think she needs to have a Therapist of her own.

Good luck