Okay I get your trying to understand her/this/borderline..

The reality is anyone of adult age walking this earth is responsible for themselves. They can find a T or not , they can actually try to help themselves or not.

BPD can be managed but it takes an enormous amount time doing DBT to make a dent in it... its a life long commitment for that person to continue to reinforce there skills.

A lot of people claim they can’t afford DBT Therapy, whatever, you can buy workbooks off Amazon for 12 bucks.. but that’s if a person wants help , which she doesn’t

You can’t fix her , she doesn’t want to change. Sometimes even tho we really really want something ... we do not get it.

She’s an ex for a reason. Let her go live her life and you move on with yours

It sounds as if YOU are stuck on this then it would be wise to find a Therapist and process the relationship that ended..

Good luck