Hello,

My boyfriend recently admitted to a porn addiction. This came out after I saw his YouTube search history, in which I saw he was watching videos of young girls (some pre-pubescent) in bathing suits, or doing gymnastics, etc. I confronted him, he admitted to masturbating to these videos and having a porn addiction.

I'm spiraling right now, as porn addiction is one thing, but masturbating to videos of pre-pubescent girls seems to be a completely separate issue. He insists he hasn't watched anything that would be considered 'child pornography' (these videos on their own wouldn't be considered pornography).

He also insists that he doesn't have any urges around children, but he is clearly sexually aroused if he was masturbating to these videos. We are currently in couples counseling and each in individual therapy. But I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't talk to my family or friends about this. Am I crazy to stay with this man who has masturbated and fantasized about young girls? He has said he has stopped looking at porn, videos of young girls and other materials to masturbate to. He's attending sexual compulsives anonymous meetings. He's doing all the right things, but my gut tells me this is not OK.