i checked myself into the psych department for emergency treatment on monday.....

walking in with the help of a friend who talked to me on the phone... just hearing his voice helped me to avoid panic.... everything seemed fake as i entered the building...
as i spoke to the receptionist, it sounded like i was inside a tunnel, and my vision was disturbed, looked like the walls had closed in right next to my body.....
i walked so slow and everyone seemed to be staring at me and their minds were penetrating my pupils...
everyone moved in slow motion and i felt as if they could read my mind.....
i was hearing my name spoken aloud behind me, and when i turned around in fear, nobody was there.....
everytime my eyes moved, i saw a shadow of a person go by at the corner of my eye.....
i sat and sat and waited for the doctor who specialized in bipolar disorder.....
two hours went by... i walked to the snack machine to get a drink.... and people kept staring into my dark pupils trying to damage my brain with their thoughts....
and the sound of it scared me, and i looked down the whole time because if i made eye contact, they would surely gaze into me....
they finally took me in, checked my blood pressure... my pulse was over 140 but i appeared very calm....
inside i only felt numbness and dispair.
the doctor came in and knew my chart info....
he talked to me so nicely and so understanding.....
asked me questions, i have a hard time remembering,
but when he asked the next question... i never thought anyone could know.... he asked if i ever observe myself, like leave my body and watch myself from behind... oh my god, how could he know this... "yes" i answered and tears started to fill my eyes....
and then the next question came.... "do you ever hear your name being said?"
i answered yes and cried........