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Old Nov 26, 2019, 12:23 AM
guy1111 guy1111 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyMop View Post
@guy1111

I completely disagree that you should tone down your sensitivity.

Have you ever read any of Brene Brown’s books on vulnerability and shame? She also has some YouTube talks. She said a man once told her that the women in his life would rather see him die on top of his white horse than watch him fall down. She was incredibly humbled by what this man said to her and it led her down a whole new path in her research and her career.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger also has a lot to say about how women treat their husbands and while she is harsh in her delivery, I do like her message. She’s got a Podcast and some books.

I’m very sorry you’re feeling sad and I do agree that marriage counseling would be a good thing. If you could find the right counselor and if your wife would be willing to go it might really help open up communication. I don’t think your wife has even a clue about how you feel. I would like to believe that if she understood the power of her actions, she would want to make a change.
Thank you for your advice! I checked out Brener and her TED talk on shame and vulnerability. I needed to hear that. It's so true and profound to me! A huge thing she said is that while men have trouble sitting still and not making it worse while women are BEING vulnerable and having a crisis, women have trouble sitting still and not making it worse while men try and open up and speak from vulnerablility. Makes me a little more sympathetic to my wife.

Also, I agree that she probably has no idea how I feel. She probably freaks out when I try to share feelings and thinks, "why is my man acting weak right now!? It must be my fault!" Maybe that's why I always get attacked when I try to open up.

Thanks again!!! I needed to hear that.
Thanks for this!
LilyMop