I was feeling so bad last night (sui thoughts) that I thought about going to the hospital. I didn't though. One I didn't really have a plan. I have a sort of stupid plan that I don't even think would work. But not a very concrete one. So I figured what would happen is that I would probably spend the night in the freezing ER just to get sent home again. And then if I did get admitted, I'd be there over Thanksgiving and that would just suck for me, for my parents, and I didn't want to mess that up. So I took extra xanax (but still within the prescribed range) and went to bed early. I'm not feeling great today. But I managed not to SH. One of the friends that I reached out to was very pleased for me that I didn't SH. Funny....I don't really care right now if I did or didn't. But I guess it's good that I didn't. Not sure how I am going to get through today. But I'm having communion tonight and maybe that will help my mind reset. HUGS to all, Kit