Your father is extremely abusive with an anger issue. I don’t know if there is any support in India for a young person in your situation like there is (somewhat) in America. I can only recommend you survive this situation by staying out of his wrath, and get out to live on your own as soon as possible.

“I can't get the idea of suicide put of my mind. It just sounds like the only way I could be happy.”

^This is faulty thinking because there is no happiness if you are no longer alive. You cease to exist. The end. Suicide is not the answer, survival is.

When people experience abuse and trauma, sometimes they themselves act in bad ways toward the other victims involved. I’m speaking about your mother. I didn’t read exactly what you wrote because I’m afraid it will trigger me and I have been through trauma, so I can get triggered. .

Keep learning, growing, having enjoyment where you can find it. Stay safe. Have you seen Harry Potter? Pretend you have an invisibility cloak.