I am also off work due to disability. A couple of weeks ago I went through Ken Burns' documentary series on the Civil War in a couple of days, then his series on the Vietnam War in another couple. I have my writing to keep me busy as well. Still, like you, I have lots of moments when not distracted, when the hopelessness and depression hits full force. I wish I had something helpful to say, but I'm in the same boat. All I can say is I empathise with your experience.