EV... i think i understand the need for the blades to be there. earlier last year i had bought a load of pills to od on, and even when i was no longer suicidal, i kept them 'just in case'. it was horribly hard to throw them away... but eventually i managed it. mainly only because i was moving away to university though and was afraid they might be discovered if they still existed at home. so i think you want to have a backup there, in case you need them... and i dont think there is anything wrong in that. some day, you'll be strong enough to throw them away.