I've been doing this pretty much 24/7 for the past ~2 years or so, ever since I moved into my 1st apartment. Aside from a few brief manic episodes where I felt positive and would sit outside rather than in bed all day, about the only time I ever get out of bed and outside is to walk to the corner store to buy junk food.
But earlier today while feeling severely depressed and hopeless, I was thinking about how for me personally, ending my own life just simply is ultimately not an option, so that being the case, considering that life (and time) will undoubtedly go on, then the best thing to do is to at the very least take care of and improve my health any way I can. If life is going to keep going on then just not caring about, or taking care of my health, most certainly is not going to bring me any happiness. So if exercising as much as I can, and having a healthy diet happen to be the only 2 things I can manage to handle and do to improve my health, then I really need to start doing them.
A couple of the main reasons (or honestly excuses, rather) I would tell myself for not exercising, are that it is painful due to having 4 fractured vertebrae, and being anywhere in public causes horrible anxiety. But humans are amazing beings, and I realized life adapts, and grows from struggles and adversity, so if I start doing it more often, over time it's not going to be as bad/difficult. My back muscles will grow stronger, and the anxiety and self conscious issue, even if these issues don't drastically improve, will at the very least become slightly more tolerable. So these things, and like I previously talked about how ending my own life ultimately isn't an option considered, there really, honestly is no reason for me to not start taking care of and doing anything/everything I can to improve my health.
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By the way, I thought I'd include and try to explain my personal reasoning for why ever ending my own life isn't an option for anyone it might help who struggles with that matter, so bare with me as I try to explain it as best as I can lol
Basically my personal reason I recently came to, and what keeps me from doing so, is thinking about how rare life is in the universe, and not only how incredible but how much of a gift, life, simply just in itself, is, taking that into consideration. If I live in such an incomprehensibly vast universe, and (at least for now 😁
we are the only known life, then just like how incomprehensibly vast the universe is, the life, consciousness, sentience and such given to me, is just as incomprehensibly much of a gift, so I am going to cherish and not intentionally do anything that will end it.