Somethings wrong but I can’t figure out exactly what. I definitely have full blown PTSD, but I’m wondering if something is wrong with my mood. Can you be suicidal without being depressed? My mood is flat, but I still can smile at things. I have lost my joy though. The sense of panic is still with me. I’m irritable too. Meds help, but I can’t be doped up all the time. I feel so overwhelmed and isolated. Not good for this time of year.

Today I see my T. Hopefully he can make sense of my symptoms. I’m worried I’m going to snap. My heads in a spin, and I’m so confused. At least I have a few social events on in the next week. Being alone too much makes my mind go weird.

Sorry I’m rambling. It’s difficult getting my thoughts together. I don’t even know why I bother posting. You guys are great. It just makes me feel more alone for some reason.