Been off my meds for a bit now. Maybe a little over a month. Still taking my anxiety meds every now and then. Anyways I was doing fine until recently. Almost 2 years ago my husband and I came to a compromise that I could have a girlfriend. I came out as poly and wanted to be able to explore naturally occurring feelings for others. At the time the only people I had naturally occurring feelings for were men. There were 2. I had to let then go and it was painful. Anyways since then everything has been fine. Until recently. I met someone and we have clicked really well. It's guy and I know he's like the forbidden fruit. Anyways if you remember from everything in the past my husband isn't very affectionate. He gets annoyed at me a lot for trying to be affectionate. I've been really struggling the past week feeling lonely and just not good. And I have no one to talk to. This person that I'm not even allowed to talk to has kind of been there. I met him at a cuddle party awhile ago. Today my mind has just not been in a good place. Not understanding why my husband doesn't care to attend to my needs. And I really want to see my therapist but I still have about a week until my appointment and I might have to reschedule and I'm just trying so hard not feel any of this. And it doesn't help that paranoia is creeping in.