Hi kvinneakt and welcome! It was nice meeting you online tonight.

First, I want to say that I am very glad that you came here and posted. It’s a start – a very important start and I can never say that enough! And we all know just telling someone, or talking about it helps one so.

I believe that every person is different in some way or another, and that is not bad, for it would be a very boring world if we all looked the same, thought the same and dresses the same. I guess what I’m trying to say is simply, being different from others isn’t all that bad, or it doesn’t have to be. The most important thing – is how does it effect you?

And – you mentioned in your post that you are married, so does your wife know (I expect she does, and if so, have the two of you ever discussed it? I ask, because it does have an effect on her and your relationship so it will be very important on your dealing with it.

Myself, I’ve never been what one would ever call macho, but again, I’ve never been what one would call a sissy either. It’s a really long story, and if you wanted to read my posts here, I am sure you would learn of it so I won’t explain it all, but, after a really bad relationship, I started dressing and found I enjoyed it very much. In fact, I felt more at home in a dress than anything else. But I wasn’t gay and didn’t have any desire to be so. Not that I have anything against gays – it is just that I am not gay.

My dressing was a great thing to be honest. It enabled me to better understand women and how they would perceive things – Like being whistled at by men. Wow! I never had any idea how degrading that was until I received a few whistles myself. Me? I don’t whistle at women. No way – I have way too much respect for them. I actually think everyone would be better able to understand the other if they would only take the time and live in their shoes awhile (especially if they are red pumps - sighsss).

Also, one's gender identity and sexual orientation are 2 very different things - and this is something a lot of people either don't know or admit to. I’ve found that way too often, people can make rather fast judgements, especially on issues they don’t understand or want to know about.

And please don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to persuade you to chosse one gender or another, but believe it important for you to know which you relate to best, and how it would effect your way of life. And your spouse’s. Would she stick?

As I mentioned earlier, it’s great that you posted here. These people here, are a GREAT bunch and have always treated me well and with respect. I am thankful for them. I think it is great you are seeking professional help too. I know that one cannot be 100% happy until they know who they are. It took like, forever for me to figure that one out. Silly ole me. And I suspect it is that way for most of us, it is a matter of knowing.

So please post more about yourself, and how it effects your wife, your life and what steps you are taking. I will respond with concern, praise and happy tidings as often as I can. And I apologize for having written a book – I had so many thoughts taking me so many different ways I found it hard to get them down on paper, so to speak.

Please be assured – you are not alone and there are people that do care, of which, I am only one.

Take care,

Sam