sorry to rant but i am just not sure what else to do in order to pass the time. i thought things had been looking up with my holiday and everything but by the end of it i couldn't face getting out of bed and now i am home again, i can barely say a word. i am just so tired. tired of looking after my mum and acting happy to move her along and tired of seeing my sister's stuff and having people keep saying "ohhh are you missing katie sweetheart?". i have had to block my phone number for the moment so i stop getting hounded by calls from stupid people who've done me harm in recent past and i just want to be ALONE. i don't even want to 'get better' now- it is too much effort. i want to be left alone and just to sleep and i can't face getting up tomorrow and playing out the same scene again! sorry about the negativity, i get it from my revolting father. i don't know if i need more meds or what but i just don't see the point to sorting that out when all i want to be is ALONE.