Kit, I don't really think you're getting the care you need with your current therapy setup. In fact, it seems like things have gotten worse for you since you added Pastor T. So much of what you're going through is related to unresolved trauma, and it must be awful to be in the middle of all that. You mentioned that Regular T is changing practices or something at the end of the year, right? Will you be finding a new T then? I really hope you are able to hang in there and that your suicidal feelings pass.