Kit—why not spend as much time away from home as possible? Your mother was abusive and is still toxic from the sound of it, and I can’t help but think that living with her has something to do with the lack of progress. A constant reminder of the past and the difficulty of dealing with her in the present. I could have been in as much therapy and on as many meds as possible while still living with 2ex and it would have done no good, because he’d still have dominated my life.

I know you can’t afford to move out (roommate maybe?), but how about lots of solo weekend trips. Do something after work as much as possible instead of going straight home. Etc.