Hey Lady Jo,

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. That's a lot of complex emotions you are dealing with. I hope with a little time and patience, you are able to make peace with your mind and body. Don't let a few chapters of your life be the book of your life.
I know you're not looking for advice, but I really want to say, I hope you get to read the book "Body Keeps Score" by Bessel van der Kolk.

Feel free to rant...let it out of your system. We're here to listen.