Erotica and BDSM is not everyone's cup of tea. It does not make it wrong. You may want to find it flattering that of all the years she's known you, she has finally worked up the courage to invite you into being part of an aspect of sexuality she enjoys. On the other hand, she should have communicated with you before inviting you to an erotic group of that nature.

I'm not referring to BDSM or empowering erotica. I don't have objections to those sexual expressions. I don't know why you think I am referring to alternative sexuality.

The creepy sexuality in the group is exactly that...creepy. I am bothered by stereotypical "sexy" soft porn photos that demean both men and women. I don't appreciate memes that stigmatize mental illness by their usage of out-dated terms for people who have a mental illness, or calling a psychiatric hospital a "house of nuts."

It hurts, and it's triggering to me. I feel a sense of hopelessness when I find out that some people think racist jokes are funny, that "crazy people" are a joke, that women are nothing but sexual objects.

The group is not about cool stuff; it's not cool, at all.

I am not only displeased about my friend inviting me to join the group, I'm saddened that she doesn't have more self respect.

You may want to tell her, "I appreciate the offer and I respect your interest in this activity and I am grateful you trust me enough to be open with me about this, but this is not something I would like to be part of and would prefer not to discuss this topic on Facebook."

Yes, that's a good way to respond. I would feel great if I could tactfully explain to her that the reason she keeps meeting men who are disrespectful and abusive to her is because the places she looks in to meet men are not healthy places. I feel sad that any woman - or anyone - has such a poor sense of self. I'm sad when someone I know is a truly special person equates her sexual self with being abused and degraded.