Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara
Thanks to my BPD I have:
**Been abandoned by three "best" friends, with the last one promising over and over again over a number of years that he "understood" my problem and would never abandon me.
|
Were the abandonments bc of BPD (as in that's what the person held against you n therefore left), or the abandonment feeling the cause of the relationship ending bc of something more specific (lies, needing to move, etc)?
Quote:
|
**Moved over 2,500 miles in an effort to escape. Of course, it didn't work.
|
This was definitely impulsive, but do you admit you could have reacted differently, or believe there is no way you could do anything else due to BPD?
Quote:
|
**Almost lost a job. I didn't, but I was never really trusted again and was replaced in the job I was doing and placed in a much worse situation.
|
I hate the stigma attached to BPD. I (like every - not black n white thinking in this case - has or will likely go through) have been thru this.It seems society has decided we are just "not good enough" and therefore overlook or dismiss us.
Quote:
|
I was almost arrested when my abandonment #2 called the police when I wouldn't leave his house when he told me to.
|
I am sorry you experience the extreme pain (and possibly self blame) associated with abandonment issues. I know what that feels like, and sometimes it is difficult to be in control if our actions or behaviors when the abandonment is fresh or new.
Quote:
|
**Have no friends. I tend to shut them out before they get too close and have the chance to hurt me, but it leaves me very alone.
|
I have come to the conclusion most people are not trust-worthy and therefore a would not be a good friend anyway. For this reason I no longer self blame in regards to this, but yes - it is still lonely, which is why I spend more time online than anything else. There are more ppl online to be potential friends than there are in my offline life, so it works out. I am not saying all this to be egotistic, but rather to try to help you deal with this in a way other than pain.
I hope you will start feeling better soon. *hugs*