Nov 29, 2019 at 04:20 AM
Hey @ohno22:
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Originally Posted by ohno22
My question is. I am in a long term relationship that has been on and off for so many years. He helps me a lot since I can not work and he is my only friend since I have social anxiety. I have no family what sort ever. I am isolated in a bad situation inside and out.
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Relying on one person for everything is not healthy especially when it is not mutual.
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I would love to live with him, but he doesn't want to. It makes me sad. I mention it to him about once a year to see where we stand. He then just walks away from me and I beg him to stay since I am co-dependent. He blames me for hoping we would become serious when he told me where he stands years ago. But every time after such fight he stays with me.
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I am not sure why you stay. He sounds like he is making his position clear.
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I told him if he wants to breakup he needs to do a clean break and leave me alone completely. But he says he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and comes to my house even if we are only friends and he wants to have sex and acts like we're together. He says he cares and wants to help.
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You need to do the breaking up. Why should he? He is getting what he wants. He gets sex from you.
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I am in love with him and I am not strong enough. I can not even see what is happening. Is this abuse? Or is he just scared with avoidant attachment style?
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You have to be strong enough. Pain motivates change. When the pain is great enough then you will take action.
__________________
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