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Most of my childhood is locked up somewhere in repressed memories. I had mental & phyical abuse at the hands of my one grandmother and mental abuse from father. I have such little pieces of memories that it is like my childhood is a blank wall. I remembered the abuse late last year and wrote some about it, but still do not know where I was with my Mother. My memories are a lonely place and I try not to think about them as it makes me cry.
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All my life I have know that I am different. I have trouble with my thinking and processing information. I have trouble in keeping close friends. I am afraid of living, and I don't really know why. I am good at pretending everything is all right, by just gritting my teeth and just charging ahead and getting through the rough spots, but inside I am afraid of failure and getting critized for things I do. I am hoping someone can help me, or at least understand me.
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