My emotions are being pulled in a million directions. Why do I always have to deal with several situations at the same time....pulling at me....all different directions....i'm in a state of panic......and anger....why can't life be easy for a change?......is that so wrong to want.....i took several XANAX.....i want to pass out .... I'm not coping ...... don't worry, it wasn't enough to cause harm, just sleep so i can turn off my mind ..... i want my t, i want my t, i want my t, I NEED my T, I NEED CAT!!! ....when will all this XANAX kick in .....i want to pass out .... please work, hurry up and please work ....i can't handle this anymore ..... i just want to pass out NOW!!! ....dang pills are taking forever, although i know it hasn't been enough time yet .....one more day, i see my T tomorrow, .....not a moment too soon.....ok, i'm getting very light-headed now.....i need to put sarah on my stereo while i can still walk without falling over....sarah always calms me.....so does cat but he has to go to work.....dang, I HATE ALL THESE MIXED EMOTIONS ALL AT THE SAME TIME, i'm being pulled in so many directions....i'm sitting here rocking back and forth,.....that always makes me feel better.... dang CAT, do you know what you signed on for with me.....i'm as crazy as they come.....please, i want to pass out now.....i want my T, i want Cat to hold me in his arms......please somebody make all this XANAX kick in fast.... I can't do this on my own....why are we given too much to handle??????....anger,.....anxiety.....love....I'm not used to love.....it's been so long. .....it happened so fast.....i need you cat.....i need to pass out....pls god give me strength to not involve myself in what angers me.....i rock, and i rock....i have a headache.....i didnt get all my meds in yesterday cuz i went to sleep early last night, i was exhausted.....xanax work NOW PLEASE.....i want to pass out NOW.....y is it taking so long this time....i took extras to ensure passing out......i need my t.....i need my cat..... ....my head is now starting to swim.....must chg my cd to sarah now b4 i'm too unstable to do it.....currently listening to john lennon.....but sarah is my companion when i dont do well.....pills work, pills work, work NOw....GOD I'm such a loser . .... i can't deal with life.... i have a headache now....but pills are kicking in....work faster....make me pass out....i need cat to just hold me.....i need my t, i need my t.....only 1 more freaking day til i see her....1 very long day....i need cat...i'm passing out...gotta sarah on in time....talk at y'all later, hopefully when the xanax wears off i'll feel better....if not, then i'll take more xanax....i need cat. my head is swimming now....i cant see what i'm typing....laters....hopefully much later................