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Nov 29, 2019, 06:49 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boomerango
I am in my black hole place again. I think the November-December festival time is a trigger for me, calling up some PTSD from childhood and then adult holidays with my (sadly) raging Borderline mother. But of course there is simply my own brain at work now. I feel absolutely TRAPPED, anxious, impatient, unworthy, sad, and hopeless. I want to run away with my pets and be alone. Does anyone else experience worsened depression this time of year? how do you manage? Thank you for reading. I wish all of you safety and love.
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Thank you for your post. Believe me, you are not alone. My mother was severely Borderline, too. The holiday season was sheer hell. Every year, even worse than the rest of the year was. Absolutely pure psychotic nightmare.
I actually like the cooler weather - but apparently there's some incongruity between what I like and how I feel, or how my brain functions. Oct/Nov/Dec...I wish I could just sleep through them. My pdoc kept insisting that I get a SAD light. I finally did, and what a waste of 40$. I tried it many times; it not only doesn't help my depression, it hurts my eyes (even though I don't look straight at it).
All meds at a max. The only thing that brings me joy are my cats.
I wish I had some suggestions for you.
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