I saw the therapist for another session on Wednesday because I'd gotten all upset after the one on Tuesday, and it just went downhill until I had a meltdown because my sister was unkind and sent the therapist a hailstorm of text messages. I didn't mention my sister or that she had just hurt my feelings, either. I just lashed out about other stuff.

Anyway, I was surprised the therapist responded on Wednesday morning and asked if I wanted to come in and talk about all the garbage I'd thrown at her. Anyway, I went and she was all Susannah I hope you're going to talk to me about this stuff you texted me and not just turn away and not talk. So then I felt pressured.

Anyway, I regretted saying all that stuff that I did in my texts because she does this thing where she'll whip her phone out and read me what I said. It's embarrassing to have your meltdowns narrated to you and then have the therapist say so tell me about that, Susannah.

Also she had called me spiteful in one of her text responses, so I had to explain that yes, I said I was going to do this one thing and was motivated by spite at the time, but the reason I ended up doing it had nothing to do with being spiteful but was the responsible decision.

Then she wanted to talk about how I had accused her and C of conspiring against me. They don't like the guy I've been seeing and it's accurate to say they are conspiring to make me cut contact with him.

The therapist revealed that C had been a snitching snitch who snitches and told my private business to the therapist. The therapist demanded to know if I wanted to do this one specific thing with him. Honestly, I don't, and it made me feel ashamed that she knew about that.

Then she started grilling me and basically trying to make me feel like **** about the way things are going with this guy. Thing is, she seemed to be assuming I love him and want some sort of long term relationship or something. He's ok but it's not a serious relationship. So her asking if I've met his family and friends honestly felt irrelevant. I have no desire to meet his family or friends, let alone spend time with them. She seemed to be suggesting he's hiding me or something. He could be, but I'd never know since I've made it known I am not interested in socializing. I am also highly resistant to going out 90% of the time, so her asking if he takes me on dates was also irrelevant. He tends to want to go out but I don't want to bother. Sometimes we get some ice cream.

Somehow, she extracted a promise from me that I wouldn't do any stuff with him until all my schoolwork is done - or at least until we talk next week. But I think I just won't go next week and do as I like.