Not doing well. I'm getting very fearful, and not getting an adequate night's sleep isn't helping(if sleeping at all some nights!). I know if I was asleep right now I would be doing my mind so much good but I can't. We(me, Dad, Stepmom) just had such a nice evening with my sister, her boyfriend and my niece and nephew. (Dinner out and then back to the house to talk.) I have so many issues about fear of germs that it's the middle of the night, and there would be so much to do to get myself "sanitized" again after going out in the world(all the things I had to touch and use while out and the kissing and hugging) that I'm wearing the same thing I wore when out, didn't wash my face or brush my teeth and I'm trying to sleep lying on the rug in my bedroom fully dressed with only a pillow so I don't get germs on my bed or blankets. I woke up uncomfortable and cold so here I am. Miserable and ready to cry. They are coming over bringing breakfast for us before they leave, so I figured I'd begin the decontamination process after they left since it takes a long time and they left last night around 10:00pm. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to see them and I love them, but my mind is overwhelmed. And now I'm afraid to post, even my usual word games on here or sending a friend a pm because I'm afraid anything, any wrong word will trigger someone or hurt someone or cause something bad to happen. I am trying to be so careful, and it is paralyzing me. My dear Dad said tonight that I should fight it(the monster of my germ fear), and I told him, "But it's so big! It's this tall(and I held my hand up high.)"