Still not divorced.

I feel sad and overhwelmed today. I think I am mostly tired. First major holiday for the kids (and their cousins, and my brother-in-law) without the ex there. He was invited and chose not to come. He did come for pie later, which was nice. My job is to always smooth these things over, to try to find the spaces when we all need to keep moving as usual, and when we need to replace a tradition, and when I just plain need to say, Man, this part is hard but it's going to be okay. In general, I guess, not just around the holiday. I'm pretty exhausted.

I'm glad I see my t this week. I think I need someone to tell me this part is hard but it's going to be okay. Crap. I made myself cry just typing that.