You say “ assault “ are you worried about your husband harming you ? Or are you feelings like harming him and your son? You have felt that a lot in the past.

Your husband has never physically hurt you in the past , you’ve never shared if he did. Yes you too have fought off and on , but again you have never shared if he was verbally abusive. Has something changed?

If this follows your “ typical “ path.. you will just continue with tumble down the rabbit hole until you ... either get a Med change or crash and need T and Pdoc but not be fully honest so you won’t get IP or IOP help. Or you will cycle and be spit out the other side.

Do I think you need to call your T and/or Pdoc now? Yes .. why suffer and wait?

Meanwhile you need to increase your use of any coping skills you have and are able to use.

Stay in the present.. color , draw , write, ask your son to play some of the board games you bought.

STOP spending money. You and your husband need to be strict with your budget, yes it’s Christmas but you still have rent bills and food to buy.. you don’t want to be flat broke and eating scraps before Christmas.

Just keep yourself busy , self grounding and lots of Fact checking daily , hourly if need be.

I’m glad you made yourself a thread , daily check ins here should help you stay present and aware.