You say “ assault “ are you worried about your husband harming you ? Yes, Or are you feelings like harming him and your son? No

Your husband has never physically hurt you in the past , you’ve never shared if he did. Yes you too have fought off and on , but again you have never shared if he was verbally abusive. Has something changed? He has never harmed me verbally, or otherwise. He is a bit controlling I don't blame him giving who I am. However in my defense my first half of my life was riddled with all types of random abuse.

Do I think you need to call your T and/or Pdoc now? Yes How do I explain myself?
why suffer and wait? I don't know how to explain myself and everything will eventually pass. Plus it's only two weeks before I see pdoc. If I can figure out a quick blurb to tell my T I may call. I may call and see if she has any openings before my next appointment.

Stay in the present.. color , draw , write, ask your son to play some of the board games you bought. I'm trying, they sleep too much and I'm up alone often and my thoughts turn to SH when alone (a lot). I have yet to be stable enough to get more then my keys back from July. H wants me to wake him but he just wants to keep me in bed instead of getting up for the day.

STOP spending money I may have to block amazon. I don't mean to be buying. I'm suppose to be looking for gifts for me. I'm horrible at finding stuff for me. My parents bailed me out last month by giving me my gift money but they expect gifts for me under the tree. I can't tell them because their solution is we wouldn't have money issues if my husband made more money. They refuse to see my BP. They may just through more money at us.