Try not to beat yourself up for whatever you did that ended up leading to where you are now in your life. Actually, that is where this room mate has been, something happened to her that hurt her badly and she has crawled in that room and simply doesn't want to try and engage anymore. It could be a combination of things that affected her to where she cant seem to function. She may have experienced a big change in her hormone levels, perhaps menopaus hit her severely. I experienced for myself a state where I could not function, could not get out of bed and it was due to a reaction to an implant of Lupron that stopped my period so I could heal from having lazor surgery for endometriosis. What happened is the Lupron not only stopped my period but I ended up having NO estrogen from it. blanch, I could not function and I did not know why, I could not even get out of bed and what you are describing of your room mate is reminding me of how bad I was and it was definitely not a choice of mine to be that way. My family did not know what to do similar to this woman's family and friends. Then I went to see my gynocologist and sat across from him crying and saying "what is wrong with me, I can't seem to function". That's when he did a blood test and found out I literally had zero estrogen and I was put on estrogen and Zoloft. It took time for me to function, it literally felt like a huge fog was gradually lifting.

Actually, when my older brother came up to go to the hearing about my parent's estate with me, he started talking to the two women behind the desk in the waiting room. He talked about his battle with prostrate cancer and that the doctors he had seen were going to let him die until he found a doctor that gave him life saving treatments. The treatments affected his Testasterone levels and like me he began to struggle. My brother said he experienced male menopause and he was at a Disney movie with his grandchild and the next thing he knew he dropped his head and kept sobbing. He said he now has a lot of sympathy for what women experience when they have hormone challenges. And one of these women really appreciated him sharing that because she had a hard time while fighting breast cancer.

People can struggle badly with mental illness and it should not just be considered a choice they are making. There are things taking place in their body that can most definitely affect their brain. Actually, it would be good if you wrote to this woman's sister and mention that this woman actually may be suffering from a huge drop in her estrogen/horomones and that should be checked. If a woman is dealing with horomone issues and it is not addressed, this can cripple someone for years. Who knows, this woman may even be suffering from early onset dementia.

One of the things I have learned due to my own personal mental health challenges is to not just decide a person is choosing to suffer. And mental health providers can actually miss important things when it comes to helping a patient too. You quit your job to take care of your mother who suffered a stroke, she could not help the challenges she experienced resulting from having a stroke. You had no way of knowing if your mother would recover or if she would get to a point where she needed more help than you could provide.

Now you are experiencing in your effort to get a roof over your head, a woman who is clearly very mentally ill and is not functioning. You are only finding out some history etc., here and there and you had no way of knowing the kind of living situation this problem would create for you personally. It's understandable that considering your own struggle and having to deal with no help that you would feel the way you do about this room mate. Well, this woman at one point was happy, was a good person who engaged life and people cared about her and now she is barely functioning, something changed her and she isn't "lucky" and it's very probable that she IS really suffering and it's not her choice and there is something missing that is not being recognized and that DOES happen.

Try not to blame yourself, you could not have forseen any of this. It's totally understandable that you often feel anger too. Here you are just trying to keep a roof over your head and there is this woman who lives in a nice home and gets to hide out in her bedroom, something you certainly could not do. That's hard and it's understandable you would feel angry. Thing is blanch, if you got to experience what this woman actually is experiencing, I am certain you would not want to trade places with her for all the money in the world. Say to yourself, "I am here just temporarily, I am going to finish my paper, I am going to move forward with MY own life and keep going on my own path towards regaining my own ability to provide for myself". You did it before and you can do it again and perhaps even better than before and that's your goal now.