Unfortunately you can't force her to change. She needs to make the first step by herself. If she doesn't do that, then she can't improve. I know it's hard but it is important for you not to stree yourself too much ove rit. You have only limited control over Her Actions And Decisions. Be kind to yourself. I am also REALLY sorry that Your Father/Her Husband has been so abusive to her. Yes, it may not have been ALL bad, but it seems clear to me that his behavior effected Her in several ways - and I'm not just referring to him watching porn. Please do not make the same mistake with your Boyfriend. If he's treating you badly, leave him. Unfortunately we pick out our partner choosing habits from our own parents. It seems like you're aware of it at least so good for you! Do not fall into the same traps. Fight back! If you still want to move, perhaps there are some friends that you can ask for some help to? In any case, My Advice would be to do what you can to support your Mother, but don't force her to do anything. You can suggest to her what she may do, but the decision will be Hers. I'm so sorry things are being so hard for ALL of you! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @walkingby, your Family, your Friends, your Mother, your Father, your Boyfriends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!