Here's the difference Open Eyes -- I am my mother's daughter so I felt OBLIGATED to help her when my siblings wouldn't. I am NOT related to my roommate. We are utter strangers. I don't owe her free PCA care services as someone who has paid half of her mortgage since this summer. So, while I understand your suggestion to reach out to my roommate's sister to ask her about testing my roommate for menopause, I'm not going to do that. That is not my job. Since my roommate's been this way for 5-6 years, there's been plenty of time for her sister or her mother or ex-husband or close friends or her general physician to test her for menopause. Or another health condition causing this.

Remember, I cleaned out her disgusting room this week and found full bottles of antidepressants that had already been prescribed to my roommate that were recent, that she had not even opened by all appearances. Is it my JOB now, as her roommate, to check on her? No, it isn't.

Last night I was up working on my final grad class paper until 4 a.m., mostly spurred on by the anxiety of wondering if she was going to do anything weird. Remember, I don't know this woman. I"ve never lived with someone who has had multiple mental health hospitalizations so this is a new experience for me. She came back yesterday acting as if she'd been in FL for the week and was acting chipper asking me about what I'd been up to and how my Thanksgiving was. THAT IS NOT NORMAL! So I walked on egg shells with her all day/night last night and probably will going forward until I can move out. It may be "just another day" for my roommate and her circle of enablers, but not for me.

I am only here to rent a room and feel safe while doing so.

Is my roommate choosing to suffer? Yes, she is. She's wallowing and full of self-pity and not doing ANYTHING to help herself even if she has menopause or some other serious health problem that causes her to stay in bed 24/7 and act passive-aggressive w/me as her roommate. Her neighbor told me this has been the routine for 5-6 years now. Do you really think some health diagnosis was missed during this time, that is causing my roommate to act this way? I have my serious doubts.

I get that you and your bother bother suffered debilitating side effects from each of your health issues and how that knocked you both out. But that's different from my roommate I believe.

When I had Lymes Disease in my teens, I was wiped out and had an IV catheter in my arm so I couldn't participate in sports, or drive a car, or play my piano. But did I lay in my bed all day wallowing, "Oooh, I have Lymes poor meee waahh." No, I sure didn't. When my dad had cancer, he STILL went to work every day. I'm sure he wanted to stay in bed all day and wallow in self-pity but his work gave him a purpose.

While I think you are somewhat right about reasons people seemingly give up on life (that are related to undiagnosed health problems), I think the flip side of the coin is that some people are just actually selfish assholes and don't care how their behavior affects others. And, I feel like after 5 months, I can definitively say, I think my roommate is a mentally ill, selfish asshole who has had 5-6 years to figure out why she chooses to stay in bed 24/7 and do nothing but eat Nestles chocolate chips, text all day long, and Netflix Binge in her king size bed that's covered in food garbage and smells teen spirit -- if the teen peed in her bed and never took a shower for 5 months.

She won't take her prescribed antidepressants. She won't go to outpatient therapy. She's willfully refusing to take the reigns of her life back. Whatever precipitated this spiral of her life 5-6 years ago, has had time to fester and time to address and treat.

She remains out of reach from inpatient treatment because she isn't homicidal or suicidal and doesn't seem to give a **** that she is burdening me, her family and her friends. IF this were new behavior and I moved in, I'd have more empathy for her. I would. But 5-6 years of this cycle of rinse and repeat? C'mon. It has to be something as simple as, she's entitled, enabled, and simply doesn't care.

As a result, she's lost custody of her son (it's not safe for him to live with her, I witnessed this as a complete stranger myself), she lost her county healthcare and county unemployment by refusing to open her mail from the county which we all know is deadline driven; you snooze you lose your welfare benefits. Not that she needs them, b/c her sister's footing her mortgage bill plus the rent money I've paid.

She is intentionally choosing not to take action with her life to improve it, to deal with whatever has caused this 5-6 years. I don't know her so I can't say what type of person she was before I moved in to her house this summer and I"m not even going to go there, because that's irrelevant. I have minimal empathy for her, because life is ****ing short. You want to lay in bed all day and not face the music? That's your choice.

My dad continued to work until 10 days before his leukemia developed from his cancer that was in remission and it disabled him so fast to the point where we barely had time to say goodbye to him before he passed away. I was hit by a truck and hospitalized and spent months in physical rehabilitation. When I went home, I didn't work for a few more months but then I found a job that lasted for a few years.

So, my roommate and I are very different. I don't just give up and hide in bed all day and I struggle to empathize with people who choose to do that instead of face life's shitshow head on. Maybe that's why I have a small circle of friends.