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I just get SO anxiety ridden to work with patients looking down at me that I can't think,I make really stupid mistakes,sometimesI can't even put a sentence together.I am forgetting simple instructions as soon as they are given to me and even forget important events scheduled for later that day.I have noticed that in the last few weeks it is getting worse to the point that I am worried about losing my job.I know how debilitating this diorder can be but this has me concerned that I,m neurologically damaged.I have been at this job for 6 mnths. now so I don't understand why it is so bad now.

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HELLO, JILL: Have you been reading my mind? I suffer from the same sort of mistakes and memory loss and inability to express myself when I'm nervous and anxious --- which is more or less constantly. And these symptoms become much worse when something important is at stake.

Sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure right now, needing the money, needing to avoid disappointing your husband, and perhaps needing to prove to yourself that you can stay out of the hospital.

I don't know what answers are right for you. However, I can't function unless I remove the pressure from my life. So, every day I simplify my life. I think or say this as often as necessary.

DECOMPRESSION FORMULA:

"I can do this! Piece of cake. I have only three duties.
ONE --------> Relax and enjoy my work.
TWO --------> Make others glad they met me.
THREE-----> Follow instructions (take notes).

If the risperdal is making you "muddled" as you say, maybe you need to call your prescribing doctor so that he can adjust your meds ASAP to keep your mind clear. If that doesn't work, you might have to self-adjust to a slightly lower dose.

Adieu