Why does it matter that he stays up all night ? It bugs the living **** out of me. Exspecailly when he wakes up late and then doesn't want to get out of bed and pouts if I don't go back to bed.
Your either arguing or not speaking as you have nothing to say.. We get along when I have nothing to say . No generally even with the "arguing" we have a pretty supportive relationship.
Do you really want to work on your relationship right now?? I don't want to keep fighting. We got in an argument about bagels tonight. Seriously! Full blown, "I can't deal with your ****" over bagels.
Do you have energy for that ? I just have enough stress that fighting just isn't helping.

Is there something you wish your husband would do or say? Be awake, accept that me not wanting to be close is okay right now, stop trying to protect me from me.
Is he stuck in his own depression ? No currently he's just frustrated with me.

A book your T feels might help you?!! She recommends the book to everyone but I got the book now.
you now aren’t sure you will continue to see her ? I haven't ever been sure that I'll stay with her. I was originally seeing her to see me 1x a week but it's working out to every 3 weeks. Plus she says some really off the wall **** that I can't agree with that makes me think her training has stagnated.
Do you have options ? Other T’s to see? No I plan on continuing to see her until my Pdoc's office has a T that h's T recommends.
Youve always said it’s hard to find one. So why quit seeing her? I am trying with her and I won't quite for awhile. I don't see it as helpful.
Just a heads up I have yet to met anyone with a mental illness that doesn’t struggle with anxiety. Have you ? That's really good to know.

So what has changed since you started this thread?? Nothings changed I'm not thinking anything bad is going to happen, like paranoia. I'm feeling something bad is going to happen, restlessness(?), on edge (?) like the feeling you get when you know something bad is going to happen. Is that still Paranoia? It's really uncomfortable and leading to me wanting to use negative coping mechanisms.

I’ll be honest I see lots of self sabotage and downplaying your struggle because you have been challenged with logical questions I'm not trying to downplay or self sabotage. logical questions really do help me sort this out. I know I tend to down play.

So it is paranoia not akathisia or anxiety?

I’ll hush up now, I’m just trying to point out somethings, you and I have known each other for years, this is a ongoing problem /mental place for you.. I’m just poking holes in some faulty thinking Many hugs ! Thank-you for continuing to talk me through my messes even though I can be frustrating.