For those constantly checking your T's texts (not sure how you can even do that -- must be something other than regular text messaging), maybe consider how this would feel if you found out someone was constantly checking your cyber/text history? I'm wondering if you would feel comfortable knowing that someone was so constantly wound up in checking on you like that. I don't mention that as shaming so much as perhaps thinking about this from the receiving end might help you regulate your own behaviors a bit so they aren't so seemingly consuming like you describe them. I honestly wouldn't be comfortable with my own husband constantly doing something like that; (I'd tell him to get a life. LOL!)

Sometimes considering how it would be to be on the receiving end of what we say or do is a way to slow ourselves down and think differently about what we say and do.