My childhood is very abusive.My mom played classic narcissistic games.I am the family scapegoat and there is a golden child sibling .All problems and faults of others were projected on me and all good things and traits were projected onto the golden child sibling.Fast forward to adulthood,emotional abuse of me still continues.She is the goldenchild.She takes away all the valuables from my parents.All I look forward to is acceptance ,love and closure,which I may never be able to achieve. But there are no arguments ,fights or yelling between us.I tread on eggshells around them.Watch my mouth.I rarely communicate with my mother,because I am scared that she may use my words against me. It is peaceful and quiet. But soul connections or closeness????Not really.But my sister's kids are very close to me.They are very excited to hear the news that I am visiting.I am a good aunt to them and I want it to be that way.I don't want to carry the resentment of what their mother did and don't want to project it on the next generation.At this stage my siblings play nice because they know their kids like me and not to loose it.