I say a lot of things that most people likely think I should be embarrassed about, but I'm usually not. That's a good and bad thing, of course.

It's hard to remember specific one-liners. I tend to have stories, instead. I'm long-winded! Here are a few I recorded somewhere. Many have to do with my psychiatrist.

Walking into my psychiatrist's office, I said (quite rapidly) "I've always wondered why you always go pee right before my session. Is it because you worry that what you'll see and hear will make you piss yourself?" Well, luckily he laughed a bit, which he doesn't usually do, and responded "If you were my age, you'd know that I have to pee before every session."

another,

Something was wrong with my psychiatrist's computer and he told me there were two "BirdDancers" (me) in his system. I then said "That would be scary, especially if I walked up to her. I might have to kill her and you'd call 911."

another,

I mentioned to my psychiatrist that I put on a few pounds since starting the new antipsychotic. I gave him a few reasons I thought that might be: time of month, medicine, too much pannetone on the grocery store shelves (pannetone is a type of cake). He lit up and said that he has pannetone at home and how much his dog likes it too. I said "Well, then I must be in good company."