I'm really fustrated with your self sabotage it seems like you have crisises to see the t and pdoc. It's as if you find illogical excuses to avoid ANY learning of coping skills. You seem to reject stability and find comfort in crisises.

You come up with pathetic excuses not to go to IOP and learn coping skills it's as if you have decided your identity is a broken mentally ill person and any coping skills will threaten your identity.

Coping skills will not cure you but they will make life better. Your RULES are not rules they are obstacles and barriers you put up to keep from having to learn healthy coping skills and handcuff the providers and keep them from efficient treatment for you. Think what you are modeling to your son. that your illness controls you and that you are helpless and nobody can help.

It's like someone here said, you have to be responsible for going outside your comfort zone to make changes. Only you can do that.