I HATE LIFE. My life. It hates me.

I just want to bloody give up on everything. Why do I bother. NOTHING ever gets better. It just gets worse. I look at myself in the mirror and I see looking back at me the pathetic excuse for humanity I've always been. Maybe the reason why all this up stuff happens to me is because I deserve it.

I'm not even able to bloody type some days because I'm so stupid and scared.

My good friend Zac is in hospital again.
I just got out of the ward.
My nephew is sick.
Everything reminds me of something bad.
I can't walk.
I can barely talk.

fgl;hqeartjag. I have no reason to be the miserable idiot I am. Suck it up and stop complaining but I can't. Now I could lose Zac and he's one of my closest friends, and I just lost Chris this year.

I want to drink or cut or hurt because I'm rotten. WHY CAN'T I JUST GIVE UP. I've been around long enough to see that life SUCKS.

I drag everyone down. I'm dragging you down by reading this. Going into the ward was a bloody waste of time, I feel worse. Everyone who hurt me was right about me.